We are changing the world.

I had this thought regarding all of this stuff that’s coming into the light with sexual harassment in the workplace. It has always been there, but now women and men are speaking up. Standing up, Why? Why now?

A couple things I think:

1.) Our President (yes, I know, you maybe thinking, he is NOT my president! Well, he is, the people voted and we are in this situation), I think because of his low morals, it is making the rest of the world WAKE up to their own morals. It’s like when you go to church on Sunday and you look at the well put together pastor who has his (supposed) shit together and he or she is perceived as holy so that is good enough for you. No need for you to look inside yourself. Well, when that person on a pedestal fails, oh shit, now what do you do? Re-evaluate who you are? Can you stay at this church? Are you having a crisis with what you stand for being right or wrong? Well, I think the president does the same thing. Usually, it has been a respectable human being, so if he (not a she yet, but I’m hopeful) is failing, the mirror turns inward. Do I agree? Can I stand for this? Well, the GREAT thing is A LOT of people are saying, NO, I can’t!!

2.) My 2nd reason is Kesha! Kesha wrote a song called praying. It is about not receiving justice for sexual acts that she did not want from her producer. Her case did not win in court. But since then she released a song and thousands of people have been singing her prayers, or better yet, our prayers.

We (collectively) changed the vibration. We sang strength and power into the universe, We did it!

If you are discouraged by the political environment, take courage. We are changing the world…. One issue at a TIME.

Keep singing Ya’All


Happiness is your responsibility

I did this therapy thing awhile back and they would say, “Your life is your responsibility.” And I got that, Right, simple. You are responsible for the choices you make, to pay your bills, raise your kids, work your job, and be a nice person – GOT IT!

Then I realized the other day, maybe they were saying something different. Like your happiness is your responsibility. I’m mean let’s be honest, “Who’s happy?” Could you say you are honestly happy?

I had an experience the other day that told me I am not happy. I was on a retreat with people I love, the snow was falling, and I was standing at the end of this hill and could hear the river rushing beneath me as the snow made everything else silence. I thought to myself this is like a movie. But I don’t feel nice or happy, I do not feel like I feel when I watch this in movies. I am experiencing it, but I’m not happy.

And I realized.

You have to choose to be happy. EVERYDAY, every minute, and every second. You have to work at looking at the positives or raising your vibration. You have to control your mind to not spin off into anxiety and fear. You have to distract yourself with a joyful activity when you are going to a dark place.

When I was a kid I woke up excited to be awake to a new day. I had a joy that lived in my body and I couldn’t wait to experience life.

It is a choice to wake up excited to have another day. If you are waking up and feel like you are a hamster in a wheel doing the same thing everyday, Change it up. Choose different. Turn it around, talk to yourself. Say, “Nope, I am not going to beat myself up and into submission in the first hour I wake up, I am going to know I am doing the best I can and move forward from there.”

Guess What! Your life is your responsibility, No one else can help you be happy, no circumstance outside of yourself is going to fill that unhappy space, you literally have to choose it.

So, I wish you JOY and Happiness today. Even if you are only happy for your coffee, start there. It’s a muscle we can build it up and we can actually be HAPPY, it’s a choice.


DON’T download the old systems

I am reading the book, “The Four Agreements”. I read half of it before but wanted to re-read, which I highly recommend, since we become different people more often then we think we do.

Anyway, a crazy thing happened to me this morning. I woke up and started thinking through my day yesterday. I was thinking hmm… should I have had those drinks, what interactions did I have with people that were stupid or I could have done better at, did I work hard enough, should I have talked to that old guy at happy hour, what if he watched me leave and followed me, do I feel good enough to start this day or is this day shot.


By the old systems, I mean this, we are trained at a young age to do the acceptable things. The things that give us love, approval, and help us “Fit In” to society. We are trained in how to do life, from parents, teachers, siblings, religion, and the social proof of it all.

But we wake up each day with fresh and new energy. Like the bible says: “His(or Her, referring to God or the Universe) mercies are new every morning.” I have all I need for today each morning.

But guess what takes away my energy….. THE SYSTEMS. So, just like a computer, this morning, I said, “DON’T DOWNLOAD THE OLD SYSTEMS.” Save your energy for yourself and however you can love people today.

So, my friends, my advice to you: 1.) Read this book it’s awesome – BUT- more importantly “DON’T DOWNLOAD THE OLD SYSTEMS” They keep us sick and blind.

Much. Love.

The Tough Girl Problem.

Until about 2 weeks ago I had never mowed a lawn. I guess I always thought that was a “boy job”. But my husband is gone, so I looked out at my lawn and thought, how hard can this be. Well, we have a push mower, old school, but less intimidating than a real one, I guess. So I decided to give it a try.I mowed the lawn. I felt really proud of myself.

Then I thought back to a month ago when I had a competition with my sisters to see who could do a 3 min. plank, I won!! Yep, pretty proud about that.

Then I realized, I am always trying to prove how tough I am. Always wanting my husband or my dad to be proud of me, doing physically taxing or boy things. Now, my husband is a pretty tough guy, so I can’t usually say I am tougher than him, but if we are in an argument and he says, I’m not tough…. It’s like rockets to the moon with my emotions, I go from 0-100 in a milli-second.

WHY? Whenever we have really strong emotions toward something, I think it’s good to ask why? What is my deal with being tough? Why do I need to be so tough?

I think it’s because I think tough = strong. And strong is a praised quality. Nothing bothers me more than being weak or considered weak. It’s not like my dad or husband are going to think I’m cool if I say, “guess what, Today, I let someone cry on my shoulder. Or I sang my baby to sleep. Or I painted my own toe nails.”

But it’s ok to need to be nurtured sometimes. It’s ok to let down and allow the sweetness of life to come in. It’s ok to be a women and have receptive energy. It’s ok to be compassionately kind. It’s ok because what the world sees as weak, is not so in the eyes of God, or the universe, or our truest self.

So to all you tough girls out there. You’re already tough you don’t have to prove it. The world could use a little gentle kindness right now.

Much. Love.


Mesa Ridge Lane

Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 11.23.25 AM

This is the street I grew up on. Now, per google maps this is the current sky view. I lived in the house at the end with the 2 cars in the driveway. My neighbors were and still are our best family friends, The Greene’s. Next to them the McGregor’s, the Purkhiser’s, the Martinez’s, and then the end house changed a few times. The other side, the Powell’s and the Ruiz’s (I think that’s how you spell it).

It was the BEST!! Everyone moved in around the same time and everyone had kids the same age. We had the best 4th of July parties where we would shut down the road and all the kids would do a parade and one time we had a dunk tank. We did shows, created music videos, shared pools, and grew up together. I always dreamed that when I grew up I’d be one of the mom’s who sat outside drinking wine while all the kids played.

We moved out of that house when I was around 12 yrs old, so I lived there for 6 yrs.

What a great way to grow up. Seems like a lifetime ago, but it was the best little world to grow up in, where life seemed dreamy and safe. A little piece of my heart lives there.

Fighting in marriage is a good thing…

If you know me, you know, my husband and I have been through the ringer. Not necessarily that bad of things have happened to us, WE just happened to us.

We are strong personalities. Both of us. We don’t back down, we both want to be right, we fight, hard.

But… I still would choose him.

I think I knew I wanted the challenge. We can live the easy road or the hard one, just because it’s easy doesn’t make it worth it, ya know.

Marriage is so odd. You choose this person to create a life with and to be honest who really knows if you can grow together. Because you are going to grow. It’s either together or apart.

Anyway, almost 5 yrs. in and I still really like him. I like when he likes something I’ve written, because I think he is really smart and that’s a big compliment. I like how he listen to my concerns (he would call critics) and changes. I like that he works hard. I like that he’s a really good dad. I like that he is FULL of information, wait scratch that I like it most of the time. And I like that he works hard to connect with me.

I guess, I would just like to say, Marriage is hard. But I’m thankful I choose him, fighting and all. Because what does a strong personality need to change … another strong personality. So, cheers to all you fighters out there, it’s worth it. You are growing and changing, good for you!

Open Letter to Judah.. My thoughts

Well, there has been quite A LOT of busyness on Facebook this morning. I wanted to see what I thought and to do that I have to write, so here you go!

First off, I do not think George is wrong, now the manner in which it was publicly posted is up for debate or maybe it is also that big of a deal that it needs this much attention. I guess I would think so.

People do not see things at they are, they see things as THEY are.

So, as I am this is what I see.

When I first came to EastLake years ago, we were in the same place as city church. Yes, our style was different, our approach was diff, but Mega Church on the path to American success, that we were.

I asked the leaders what they thought about gay people (LGBT was not a thing then) and they said, “We love them.” I kept pushing and did not get the answer I was looking for, but because of the fact that I really liked the church and was feeling loved, it was not a make or break it deal for me at the time, because I am not gay.

Now, I was already in such a place of despair and in need of love and acceptance, if I were a part of the LGBT community this answer would have crushed me. Because I could hear behind the lines, “We love them” but we want them to change. “We love them” but that’s a sin, “We love them” but they are not ‘ok’ in God’s eyes.

Thankfully, we, EastLake, and other churches have been blessed to see where we were so clearly wrong before. There are probably 1200 other things we are not right on, we just don’t see those yet.

With all that being said, This may not be a HUGE issue for you. You maybe white, sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex, and pretty much fit in. Well, imagine if that were not the case.

George spoke at EastLake a few weeks ago and described a situation at a party where he was told he looked like a terrorist, he ask his friend later why he didn’t say anything and he said, I didn’t know if you wanted me to. George said, speak for the minority who can not speak for themselves, they need white allies.

So…. I think it is important to speak on behalf of those who really are shamed here and can not speak for themselves, because they are the supposed “wrong ones”.

If you are calling yourself a loving community and you can not be clear about where that love ends… I think it’s obvious you know that feels wrong. If it didn’t you would not NEED to cut the clip. You know you are NOT inclusive, but you preached Jesus is. It’s ok, we all do that from time to time, but apologize, be clear, and be honest.

It is a BIG DEAL!